I’m learning to trust life once more, I’m trying hard to understand though, but at no point I’m letting the disappointment and uncertainties grip my confidence and the immense faith I’ve rebuild to trust the journey of life. I’ve learned that, disappointments are only the outcome of too many expectations.Great things happen to initiate once we opt for positive outlook towards life.
As it’s well said, there’s no giant step, it’s always about lot’s of little step that work together in one direction for the expected results.
But our life’s are always imparting us more harder test, forcing us to the walk and endure sufferings which speaks to our souls and I’m hopeful it’s going to rediscover our better life.
And life surely supports us always in some form of some beautiful lessons that we learn from our mistakes.
As a general idea, that I do believe more succinctly, is that our mistakes teach us, they impose and impact us with lessons we need to know.
And I do frame life mistakes, as my teacher, which has the ability to induce knowledge which are available in forum of experiences.
Thus this teacher of my life, remains explicitly original and most noble, but also as the most powerful paradigm into my account of life.
We often fear for the unknown tomorrow, but if we understand and keep learning from our mistakes,there’s a fair chance to inculcate a deep courage and confidence, required to face the insecurities and discomforts of tomorrow. It’s obvious pattern of the life that once, we are habituated in a circumference of comfort and known, fears surface up on the arrival of unexpected troubles.
It all started with my most toughest time. I despaired day and night to overcome the life’s uncertainties. Losing all hope in myself, I was convinced, I’m just a failure. I started to slip deeper and deeper downward spiralling in unhappiness and found very hard, every day to face the life.
I found myself losing the pace in life, everything had gone wrong.
I certainly wanted to come out of this state, but wasn’t sure of myself, as I was gripped in my fears that surfaced on the arrival of demands from the life for a change.
I had no many options left , I had to make a choice either to be there forever and continue living with the suffering and pains or opting to stand : to raise my voice against domestic violence against me and my kids.
At times option for ending my life seemed a very simple way out, still I’m here writing : As yes,
I did went through a hell of life.
I was broken into pieces mentally quite disturbed. Emotions were drifting in all the highs and lows. At times i was drained out feeling lost. Depression gripping at it’s best.
How long could I carry?
I asked myself one day….
What I’m doing here?….
Let me colour it with a simple metaphor here.
It’s like you’re in dark room for years and still accepting the walls around as the only option, available and try to compromise your life, your destiny and try to make best effort adhering it with yourself, no matter how many times you’ve to kill yourself inside. Just as similar and simple to paste a beautiful smile on your face,for the sake of safeguarding your marriage, against the ill effects of stigmatising it ; by our social society : if it failed ! All these thoughts gearing up making me feel fixed in the most devastating situations of life.
Thus,when life demanded a change, I was unsure about myself.
As all the strength and positive outlook was already faded on the way while facing the abuses and tortures in various forms.
Yes, I was shattered from within.
Knew nothing about, how i would be going with rest of my life.
I was convinced that any attempt that I did make for a change would eventually end up into again a failure.
But one fine day, when all the limits of humanity were tresspassed, I received a kind of divine blessing that encouraged and filled me with all the strength needed to raise a voice against inhuman tortures.
That day the change was sculpted and a ray of hope sparked in the darkness.
As i do believe Strongly ‘A boat that never ventures beyond it’s moorings into oceans and face storms, while sail will never get damaged,but boats are not made for safe harbours they are made for a sail in the sea.To face the rough waters, to engage itself hard working against sea winds but keeping the sail on.
So is life. We need to keep going.
The fear develop that rooted deep down since ages needs to be scrapped from the very scratch, from the very base from where it got originated.
Remember while in your childhood lessons of falling down number of times engaged in training yourself on a bicycle ride.
We do fall number of times while mastering the art of walking while we are toddlers. Do we stop or did we let go by the fear of falling down.
The answer is:- ‘No’.
The childhood bruises and pains, after falling down were part of learning eventually marking our growth.
Similarly as we grow up, we do fear the failures.The difference is childhood bruises, hurts and pains are just physical they remain out on the skin,though they may leave a scar behind but are not impacted much.
But as we grow, the falls and the failures we face, in our life impacts deep inside within our souls originating fears to over shadow our courage and confidence.We feel vulnerable to have those tremendous pressure and stressful life.
We feel hurted and the scars are rooted deep within which prospers fears.
The fears to overcome the pain.
The fears to overcome the despaired life.
But with a little courage and positive outlook things can be changed. Things can be changed with choices we make.
Make a change. It just required a start. Yes, the change was messy during it faced out initially.
People talked about all the best they could ever, about my decision to take over the change.
But I was determined to get out of this.
I started opting changes, first shifting from a negative thinker to a positive thinker.
It started with my despair.
I needed to walk some how.
I kept culminating hope and faith.After all life is all about series of choices.
Seek the differences between negatives and positive shades of life.
As the role of fire is to glow, give light and warmth.
It’s that the celebration are witnessed around bonfire and grief around cremation fire.
But the role of fire is not moderated. So is life, it has to glow, spread happiness, harmony around.
No life should die, before it lives a life to the fullest.